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[Bob Leonard]

Two old guy's Bob and Dick are sitting on a bench talking.

Bob say's to Dick, "Man I feel old."

Dick says, "Not me, I feel like a new born baby."

Bob looks at Dick and says "Really??"

Dick says, "Why not, I've got no teeth, no hair, and I just shit my pants."

[Bob Leonard]

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him in his bed ''sleeping''. She called his name, but he didn't get up. So she took him to the vet and told the vet that her dog wouldn't wake up. So he looked at her dog and said, ''Your dog is dead''. She asked the doctor to perform another test to be sure.

The doctor went into another room, and came back with a cage. In it there was a cat. He let the cat out, and she walked arund the dog, sniffed, and went back in her cage. The doc put the cat back in the other room. He came out and said again, ''Your dog is dead''.

She was like ''Ok, how much do I owe you?''

The doctor said ''$300''

She said, ''What!?!? How could it cost that much??''

He said ''$15 for me to say he was dead, and $285 for the cat scan''

[g'bye, Dick Rees]

Two old guy's Bob and Dick are sitting on a bench talking.

Bob say's to Dick, "Man I feel old."

Dick says, "Not me, I feel like a new born baby."

Bob looks at Dick and says "Really??"

Dick says, "Why not, I've got no teeth, no hair, and I just shit my pants.  But the breast feeding offers some ameliaration.  HEY, AMELIA!  TIME FOR MY RATION!"

Edited for the heck of it...

[Bob Leonard]

You're bad Dick.

[Bob Leonard]

Q: What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle?

A: Beef strokinoff.

[Tom Roche]

Q: What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle?

A: Beef strokinoff.

Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?

A: Decalfinated

[Bob Leonard]

Q: If your cow has it's lips ripped off in a bear trap what does it say?

A: Oooooo

[Bob Leonard]

Q: If your dog has it's lips ripped off in a bear trap what does it say?

A: Ark

[Bob Leonard]

Q: If your cat has it's lips ripped off in a bear trap what does it say?

A: Eoow

[Steve M Smith]

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.

Q: What do you call a spider with no legs?
A: A currant.


Steve.

[ProSoundWeb Community]