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Author Topic: What if you could live your life backward?  (Read 2026 times)

Mike Butler (media)

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What if you could live your life backward?
« on: April 02, 2007, 10:00:44 pm »

You start out dead, so you get that one out of the way right off the bat.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

Eventually you get kicked out of the home for being too healthy.

You spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.

Then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you're too young to work.

So you go to high school, play sports, date and party.

You become a kid again. You go to elementary school, you play and have no responsibilities.

In a few years, you become a baby, and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.

You spend the last nine months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap, until finally...you leave this world as an orgasm.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Very Happy
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dave stojan

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Re: What if you could live your life backward?
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2007, 10:37:13 pm »

I dunno, taking a dump might outweigh the benefits (episode from Red Dwarf).
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Rob Burgess

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Re: What if you could live your life backward?
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2007, 10:56:28 pm »

Mike Butler (media) wrote on Mon, 02 April 2007 22:00

Then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.


Actually, on your first day of work they steal your gold watch.

--
Rob
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Tony Peaker

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Re: What if you could live your life backward?
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2007, 12:16:22 am »

dave stojan wrote on Tue, 03 April 2007 12:37

I dunno, taking a dump might outweigh the benefits (episode from Red Dwarf).

"....and Santa! What a bastard! He's some old fat bloke who climbs down chimney's and steals all the kids favourite toys!"

Also, which is worse, dying, or having to be around when your parents had sex to create you?
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RYAN LOUDMUSIC JENKINS

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Re: What if you could live your life backward?
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2007, 01:14:18 am »

Please give credit where credit is due!

George Carlin!
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Scott Deeter

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Re: What if you could live your life backward?
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2007, 04:07:28 am »

Mike Butler (media) wrote on Mon, 02 April 2007 22:00


You spend the last nine months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap, until finally...you leave this world as an orgasm.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Very Happy


Hmm, would that really be as of how you relate to it today Rolling Eyes , you'd be just part of it. Actually you'd be ending your life in a divorce of yourself so to say as egg & sperm "split".
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Scott Waldy

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Re: What if you could live your life backward?
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2007, 09:08:55 am »

Not to mention, you work your butt off and then have to give your employer money! Every two weeks!  Shocked
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Mike Butler (media)

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Re: What if you could live your life backward?
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2007, 09:26:28 am »

I kinda knew you guys would get all logical on me.  Twisted Evil Oh well, happy belated April Fools!
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Mike Butler (media)

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Re: What if you could live your life backward?
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2007, 09:33:16 am »

RYAN LOUDMUSIC JENKINS wrote on Tue, 03 April 2007 01:14

Please give credit where credit is due!

George Carlin!


Every Internet or e-mail joke eventually gets attributed to George whether it's his or not.

Quote:

(Ed Note:  There is a new bogus Carlin email circulating, which you can see here - it's utterly NOT Carlin's work.  New Note [06/01]:  Another bogus Carlin piece about life going backwards (also available here and 48,000 other places online). This one has also been attributed to Robert Benson and Andy Rooney.  [06/01]:  More lists of jokes [ie: "When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?"] being forwarded around the Internet that are not Carlin.  It will never end. [07/01]   Here are 3 joke lists that were not written by George Carlin:  this includes the "Bad American" email that has been making the rounds.  We may repeat ourselves here a little in the name of truth...)

(excerpted from his website):

http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html

My source, the Hartford Courant did not cite its original source.

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