I would be careful about all sweeping generalizations about speaker crossovers. Non speaker types tend to look at crossovers as idealized dividing networks, in practice there are huge driver transfer function, physical spacing, and power handling considerations that get factored into practical crossover designs. One of the best sounding crossovers I ever heard was also the ugliest looking curve on paper.
I am known to be a strong supporter of power boxes with crossovers designed by the same engineer that specified the drivers, designed the box, and tweaked it in the chamber.
Short of that, if you can get usable preset advice from the factory that has to be a good starting point. I also rank specific advice from the speaker factory over general advice from the DSP box maker.
Free general advice from some of the strong speaker types who hang around here is good and worth digesting but perhaps lower on that list, and I am not even a speaker guy so I'm down near the bottom.
YMMV
JR
PS: to answer your specific question, steepness or order of the cut off filter is a trade off between protective attenuation against out of bandpass signals and phase shift/amplitude response for combining in the transition region. More poles of roll off help one at the expense of the other. Correct answer is it depends.