Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Brad Weber]

Tim McCulloch wrote on Fri, 12 October 2007 12:14

It will be interesting to see how buttocks are implemented in a line array.... nudge nudge, wink wink.

Back to my idea for Acoustically Symmetrical Speakers, the ASS line.  The product line could include the narrow dispersion TightASS, the wide dispersion WideASS and the BigASS sub (after all, everybody wants a BigASS sub!).  There might be a high output, limited edition version, but I'm not sure the ASShole would go over too well.  Maybe even the CuteLittleASS monitor (also called the MonitorASS or MASS for churches).  Perhaps the vertical line array could be the ASScrack.

Processing might include a basic analog DumbASS processor and the digital SmartASS processor.  Device programming and monitoring via the ASSet Management software.

Marketing slogans could include "The only ASS you want to hear", "Loud as ASS", "Nice ASS" and "Sounds like ASS".

[Brian Bolly]

Brad Weber wrote on Fri, 12 October 2007 15:03

Tim McCulloch wrote on Fri, 12 October 2007 12:14 It will be interesting to see how buttocks are implemented in a line array.... nudge nudge, wink wink. Back to my idea for Acoustically Symmetrical Speakers, the ASS line.  The product line could include the narrow dispersion TightASS, the wide dispersion WideASS and the BigASS sub (after all, everybody wants a BigASS sub!).  There might be a high output, limited edition version, but I'm not sure the ASShole would go over too well.  Maybe even the CuteLittleASS monitor (also called the MonitorASS or MASS for churches).  Perhaps the vertical line array could be the ASScrack. Processing might include a basic analog DumbASS processor and the digital SmartASS processor.  Device programming and monitoring via the ASSet Management software. Marketing slogans could include "The only ASS you want to hear", "Loud as ASS", "Nice ASS" and "Sounds like ASS".

Geri O, you've been warned!  

[Lew Veldas]

Brian Bolly wrote on Fri, 12 October 2007 20:14

Brad Weber wrote on Fri, 12 October 2007 15:03 Marketing slogans could include "The only ASS you want to hear", "Loud as ASS", "Nice ASS" and "Sounds like ASS".

Believe it or not, there was a British loudspeaker brand named ASS. They were made by Acoustic Sound Systems, one of the specialist subcontract woodwork companies that built boxes for the major speaker manufacturers over here in the 70's and 80's. The company owner was Tony Rossell.

In Britspeak, an ass means a mule. Your rear end is an ARSE.

And an STD is your telephone area code.

You say to-may-toe, I say to-mar-toe...

[Geri O'Neil]

I think it's time to give out an annual Coffee Alert Award. Brad gets the first one, no doubt. Entirely too funny!!

Geri O

[Jason Dermer]

That is the funniest post that I can ever recall reading. I just wish that I had the time and wit to have written it!

[Brad Weber]

But I probably shouldn't have stolen a thread about Tom's designs, although the possibility of a co-entrant or tapped ASS may open up some other markets.

I better stop here...

[Geri O'Neil]

Brad Weber wrote on Fri, 12 October 2007 16:29

But I probably shouldn't have stolen a thread about Tom's designs, although the possibility of a co-entrant or tapped ASS may open up some other markets. I better stop here...

You being near Atlanta, you can probably relate to this. I remember observing (careful, Geri) some tapped ASS markets near downtown Atlanta in the middla 80s.

Geri "just can't help myself" O

[Scott Raymond]

How about ASSARRAY?  And don't forget the "KICKMYASS" drum thumper! And then the ASSYMETRICAL ceiling instal speaker.

Yes, I'm just another wise ass!  

[Ivan Beaver]

Scott Raymond (Scott R) wrote on Fri, 12 October 2007 21:53

And then the ASSYMETRICAL ceiling instal speaker. !

Before you joke to much the asymetrical ceiling speaker is about to become a reality.  The first ones are being installed in less than a month.  A single loudspeaker that replaces many and provides even coverage down a hallway.  It really messes with your head

And following that a concert level version that provides MUCH higher level towards the rear seats than the front (providing even coverage), as is horizontally arrayable.

[jason misterka]

We already use some of those...

since we use Turbo Aspects, we also have:
the HALF ASS (highs & hi-mids boxes http://www.turbosound.com/showroom/ta880hm/index.html)
and the WIDE ASS (Aspect Wides http://www.turbosound.com/showroom/ta500t/index.htm)
Makes truck packing fun.  Especially at 6:30am tomorrow.
Bye.
Jason

[ProSoundWeb Community]