Well gosh, if you are having all these problems with compression in monitors then you should not be doing it. I seriously doubt that I am the only one here who can use compressors in the monitors without problems!
I have used compression in monitors (not by choice) many times... I rarely had feedback issues (though I do know how and why it happens) but that doesn't mean it was the best thing. I much prefer to have no compression on my monitor mixes. I also believe that that there are many ways to do one thing. And if compression in the monitors is working for you and your band then keep on keepin' on.
I mostly work festivals and one-offs so I rarely even have compressors in my rack for monitors. But if I were to work with one band and they asked to be compressed then I would humor them if it's what they want.
