To the OP you have to realize why the humor, please don't think it is not good natured.
There are 100's of companies with tremendous manufacturing, engineering and sales experience creating products in this space. It takes tremendous hubris for someone with a bit of experience to think they can create a product in this space better that these folks.
There are some smaller companies, notably JTR who make some exceptional products. While they have value in the space they are in they are by no means inexpensive.