OP, in case you missed it, this is the golden nugget of wisdom that you should pay attention to. Instead of a complex compromise, two simple and effective solutions is often a better route.
Ok… so this is what we're thinking so far:
There will be two stereo zones, but the subs will be in mono. The oranges are a SRX835p and SRX818sp per side in Zone #1. The reds are also SRX835p's that will be delayed for Zone #2. The yellows will function separately from the others as mono single point source for dialogue. This will all be working off of an A&H QU-16 > DBX1231 > DBX Venu360.
Once again… thoughts?