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Author Topic: "A Soundman Dies..."  (Read 5864 times)

Walter Wright

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"A Soundman Dies..."
« on: October 04, 2010, 12:58:54 AM »

...and somehow ends up in hell.

Satan is happy to see him, because Hell's band has been doing sound from the stage.
The devil shows the soundman his PA system, which is incredible, and the guy starts feeling pretty good about ending up down there.
Then the band starts to arrive, and it's John Bonham on drums, Cliff Burton on bass, and Jimi Hendrix and SRV on guitar.
The soundman asks Satan "How can this be hell? The PA is great and the band is unbelievable!"

Satan replies "Oh, our singer is a woman".



(found and re-posted from talkbass)
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Charlie Zureki

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2010, 03:09:40 AM »

  Never worked with Bonham, Burton, or Hendrix, but SRV was a great guy, too bad he didn't get to see how much his music was appreciated.

 And...what's wrong with Women? I love them...as often as possible...;o)

 Cheers,
 Hammer  
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frank kayser

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2010, 12:05:16 PM »

Walter Wright wrote on Mon, 04 October 2010 00:58

...and somehow ends up in hell.

... The soundman asks Satan "How can this be hell? The PA is great and the band is unbelievable!"

Satan replies "Oh, our singer is a woman".


I don't get it... Confused

Charlie Zureki wrote on Mon, 04 October 2010 03:09

 
 And...what's wrong with Women? I love them...as often as possible...;o)

And I'd like to get that! Very Happy

frank
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Jay Barracato

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2010, 12:13:55 PM »

8 out of 10 of my favorite bands are fronted by a woman. I think that says more about the two that aren't.

And when I get to work with these bands, yo uwill never ever ever see any of the Shure beta's on stage.
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Jay Barracato
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Tom Reid

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2010, 12:52:25 PM »

Walter Wright wrote on Sun, 03 October 2010 23:58

...and somehow ends up in hell.

Satan is happy to see him, because Hell's band has been doing sound from the stage.
The devil shows the soundman his PA system, which is incredible, and the guy starts feeling pretty good about ending up down there.
Then the band starts to arrive, and it's John Bonham on drums, Cliff Burton on bass, and Jimi Hendrix and SRV on guitar.
The soundman asks Satan "How can this be hell? The PA is great and the band is unbelievable!"

Satan replies "Oh, our singer is a woman".



(found and re-posted from talkbass)


Janice?

All female vocalist have a live performance idosyncracy which guys either love,or hate.  It all depends on the lifelong "tuning out" of the female voice.  

If you've spent your life tuning out a certain inflection because A: you have to take out the trash, or B: you know you messed up and you are now in the doghouse then you will flinch when that inflection is amplified.

On the other hand if that inflection is a signal for A: good boy come get your reward or B: dinner is ready then it can't be amplified enough.

Just ask Pavlov.
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tom

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Carl Wetter

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2010, 01:19:35 PM »

Walter Wright wrote on Sun, 03 October 2010 23:58

...and somehow ends up in hell.

Satan is happy to see him, because Hell's band has been doing sound from the stage.
The devil shows the soundman his PA system, which is incredible, and the guy starts feeling pretty good about ending up down there.
Then the band starts to arrive, and it's John Bonham on drums, Cliff Burton on bass, and Jimi Hendrix and SRV on guitar.
The soundman asks Satan "How can this be hell? The PA is great and the band is unbelievable!"

Satan replies "Oh, our singer is a woman".



Try these instead:
"Oh, our singer is Donna Jean Godchaux"
"Oh, our singer is Liza Minelli."
"Oh, our singer is Danielle Staub." http://tinyurl.com/22ubm7s

or perhaps, something along the lines of this:

"Oh, our singer is Vanilla Ice."
"But he's not dead?!"
"Well, his career..."
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It is better to have loved and lost than to have to live with that psycho for the rest of your life.

Benjamin D. Hill

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2010, 01:53:00 PM »

+1
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Patrick Tracy

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2010, 04:13:24 PM »

Alternate punch line:

"You have to mix from this closet. Here are your Koss Pro 4AAs."

Craig Leerman

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2010, 05:54:52 PM »

I think the punch line you are looking for is "Satan has a girlfriend, and she thinks she is a singer!"
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Walter Wright

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2010, 12:33:56 AM »

i thought the joke was just about getting a quiet female voice over the World's Loudest Backing Band, but maybe not  Embarassed
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Steve Hurt

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2010, 08:08:12 PM »

Carl Wetter wrote on Mon, 04 October 2010 13:19


"Oh, our singer is Donna Jean Godchaux"




That would be hell.

(Add Yoko Ono to that list)
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Patrick Tracy

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2010, 08:34:50 PM »

Steve Hurt wrote on Wed, 06 October 2010 18:08

Carl Wetter wrote on Mon, 04 October 2010 13:19


"Oh, our singer is Donna Jean Godchaux"


That would be hell.



Donna had the misfortune of having to sing with the Wall of Sound as the monitor. What she heard in her "mix" was just what happened to arrive at her position on stage from dozens of cabinets stacked above and behind her. She wasn't nearly as bad as those live recordings suggest.

Rick Stansby

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2010, 11:31:32 PM »

Patrick Tracy wrote on Wed, 06 October 2010 17:34

Steve Hurt wrote on Wed, 06 October 2010 18:08

Carl Wetter wrote on Mon, 04 October 2010 13:19


"Oh, our singer is Donna Jean Godchaux"


That would be hell.



Donna had the misfortune of having to sing with the Wall of Sound as the monitor. What she heard in her "mix" was just what happened to arrive at her position on stage from dozens of cabinets stacked above and behind her. She wasn't nearly as bad as those live recordings suggest.


That doesn't explain the studio recording of Sunrise.
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Rick

Noel Bennett

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #13 on: October 13, 2010, 09:43:14 PM »

Charlie Zureki wrote on Mon, 04 October 2010 18:09

  Never worked with Bonham, Burton, or Hendrix, but SRV was a great guy, too bad he didn't get to see how much his music was appreciated.

 And...what's wrong with Women? I love them...as often as possible...;o)

 Cheers,
 Hammer  



Q What is the difference between a Female Vocalist and a terrorist.
A You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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Chuck Harrigan

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Re: "A Soundman Dies..."
« Reply #14 on: October 13, 2010, 11:16:53 PM »

Walter Wright wrote on Mon, 04 October 2010 00:58

...and somehow ends up in hell.

Satan is happy to see him, because Hell's band has been doing sound from the stage.
The devil shows the soundman his PA system, which is incredible, and the guy starts feeling pretty good about ending up down there.
Then the band starts to arrive, and it's John Bonham on drums, Cliff Burton on bass, and Jimi Hendrix and SRV on guitar.
The soundman asks Satan "How can this be hell? The PA is great and the band is unbelievable!"

Satan replies "Oh, our singer is a woman".



(found and re-posted from talkbass)



"and her name is Yoko Ohno, and Aretha Franklyn is singing backup.  You'll also be running in ears + 2 wedges per band member from FOH.  All microphones are omnis and you have 2 bands of half parametric EQ"
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