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Author Topic: Your Duck is Dead  (Read 2467 times)

Langston Holland

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Your Duck is Dead
« on: March 11, 2010, 04:04:12 pm »

A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1000!" she cried, "$1000 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50, but with the Lab Report and the CAT scan, it's now $1000."
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God bless you and your precious family - Langston

Soundscapes <><

Dick Rees

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Re: Your Duck is Dead
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2010, 04:14:04 pm »

Nice.  I've probably heard that one 100 times and I still fell for it.

Nice.  I've probably heard that one 100 times and I still fell for it.

Nice.  Wait......did I tell you this before???? Very Happy
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Ivan Beaver

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Re: Your Duck is Dead
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2010, 05:26:12 pm »

Great! Very Happy
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For every complicated question-there is a simple- easy to understand WRONG answer.

Can I have some more talent in the monitors--PLEASE?

Ivan Beaver
dB Audio & Video Inc.
Danley Sound Labs

Tom Young

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Re: Your Duck is Dead
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2010, 06:47:55 pm »

deliciously bad.

(excellent)
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Tom Young
Electroacoustic Design Services
Oxford CT
Tel: 203.888.6217
Email: dbspl@earthlink.net
www.dbspl.com

Ian Hunt

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Re: Your Duck is Dead
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2010, 12:07:06 am »

What type of Duck?

Quack
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David Little

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Re: Your Duck is Dead
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2010, 12:12:03 pm »

Ian Hunt wrote on Fri, 12 March 2010 00:07

What type of Duck?

Quack



A DEAD duck...
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Charlie Zureki

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Re: Your Duck is Dead
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2010, 05:05:29 pm »

David Little wrote on Fri, 12 March 2010 11:12

Ian Hunt wrote on Fri, 12 March 2010 00:07

What type of Duck?

Quack



A DEAD duck...


 Yous guys quack me up! (you knew it was coming) Laughing

 It's wabbit season! Rolling Eyes

 Hammer
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Be prepared, you'll need it!

Tom Young

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Re: Your Duck is Dead
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2010, 05:12:01 pm »

Welsh wabbit ?

quackers and cheese ?

(enough. no more. promise)
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Tom Young
Electroacoustic Design Services
Oxford CT
Tel: 203.888.6217
Email: dbspl@earthlink.net
www.dbspl.com

Doug de Werd

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Re: Your Duck is Dead
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2010, 02:20:18 pm »

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