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[M. Erik Matlock]

I am collecting the worst of the worst for an upcoming article. Looking for tragic things we have witnessed in churches that took it upon themselves to install their own systems. Not wanting to embarrass anyone. Don't need specifics, just the most unbelievable encounters with church sound systems.

Allow me to demonstrate...

A service call to fix a system in rural Georgia found me standing in the center aisle, unable to contain the horrified shock on my face. Directly above the pulpit was a sheet of plywood with about 25-30 car stereo speakers screwed to it.

Later, in about the same area, I found another church with two Fender guitar amps hanging on the back wall from coat hooks. They claimed it didn't get loud enough to cover 250 seats.

There are plenty more. But, let's hear yours...

[Keith Broughton]

Not a horror story but certainly a problem...
"We need really good sound but we should get a really low price  because we are a church"
 

[Jonathan Johnson]

The small church I grew up in was built in 1898. It seats around 100-120 worshipers. Obviously it didn't have a sound system installed then, but sometime in the middle of the last century, a sound system was installed -- with all the technology that date implies, including a tube amplifier and a single 8" "full-range" loudspeaker in an open-back wooden cabinet.

Since the system was installed because the people in the back couldn't hear, the speaker was hung on the side wall to cover the seats in the back. Then, when the preacher got up to the pulpit and saw a microphone, he would think, "I don't have to talk as loud."

Now the people in the front couldn't hear, so an enthusiastic member of the congregation built a couple of speakers (poorly, I might add) and mounted them on the front sidewalls to cover the front pews. No attention was paid to polarity of the wiring, impedance on the system, or any technical details like that. To cap it off, this member was also partially deaf, with his hearing loss mostly in the higher registers. As a result, the system sounded horrible -- but to his ears, it was fine.

That's not all. The amplifier was located in the pulpit. You couldn't adjust it without making a scene.

In the 1990s, when I was in my early 20s, I replaced the entire system. I won't say it's a great system, and knowing what I know now, I would have done some things differently. But it serves our needs, and works considerably better than that first system ever did.

[Taylor Phillips]

I'm not sure if you would really call this a self install since they used professional equipment and a company, but the architect who designed the building was a member of the congregation and in charge of much of the decision making.   They installed 4 PA speakers in the ceiling pointed straight down at the floor in a 50x50 room with a 20' vaulted ceiling.  Very poor coverage and lots of trouble with feedback.  I imagine part of the reasoning for doing it that way was so that you wouldn't have to see the speakers - they've been using a pair of wedges on stands either side of stage for 10 years now.   

[Thomas Le]

I have a short story of classic stupidity. We're all familiar with the Renkus Heinz ICONYX right? Well before I came along to my current church, an acoustic specialist spec'd a pair of them for a new cathedral style church for the pulpit audio. Odd choice for a new building when they can rig up a decent point source/line array rig instead but it's their money and I wasn't there to give some insight. The stupidity comes in when they positioned it so that it's behind the pulpit, mic facing the sticks. Add to the fact that it causes obvious feedback issues, they EQ it like an aggressive plateau and add delay to it and possibly a high threshold gate. There's also an EAW AX rig for the choir/live band installed.

A simple solution to kill the ICONYX and route the pulpit audio to that AX rig right? The church was built in 2008 and I've been fighting a losing battle for almost a decade... at this point I just don't care anymore about the speech and focus on the music mix instead... I believe the term "money talks" applies here.

[Stephen Swaffer]

Something like 25 years ago, I was asked to take over the sound at our church-main qualification was that I know how to handle a soldering iron.  In any case, they had had an upgrade done by an professional company prior to my arrival-for the most part fairly well done.  A well designed central cluster, Peavey Architectural amps and processing (digital EQs and crossover), excellent coverage.  I'm not sure the history of the BiAmp 12 channel mixer-but it was serviceable, mics were EV 767s?.

Inexperienced as I was, one thing that frustrated me was that the mics sounded different on each channel-and the difference travelled with the snake channel (though it took a while for me to figure this out since I was reluctant to mess with a "pro" job.)

When we moved the PA booth and upgraded the mixer, about 6 years after I started, I discovered the reason.  Someone, apparently in an attempt to deal with RFI, had added a hodge podge of caps to various channels on the snake.

I guess, I felt, and feel like, when a customer spends $10,000 (in 1989) on, what to them is a major upgrade, not correcting an issue like this is laziness.  While finding the problem might have taken some time, the fix was a pair of wire cutters and 5 minutes work!

[Milt Hathaway]

I don't consider a congregation who has to settle for the DIY sound system to be nearly the as bad a horror story as what I've seen many times where churches buy the gear and installation from the system designer/equipment dealer. I've got plenty of those.

[Robert Lofgren]

I don't consider a congregation who has to settle for the DIY sound system to be nearly the as bad a horror story as what I've seen many times where churches buy the gear and installation from the system designer/equipment dealer. I've got plenty of those.

[Caleb Dueck]

I've worked for a broad range of AV contractors, primarily in the HoW market.  As a general rule, at least for the West Coast and Midwest, DIY is usually on par with the low end contractors/music stores.  The worst systems I've seen were a mix of DIY or low end contractor/music store.  Nearly no systems that I have personally seen that were decent were DIY. 

[John Rutirasiri]

I have a short story of classic stupidity. We're all familiar with the Renkus Heinz ICONYX right?

The 1st gen Iconyx had a single tweeter in the middle of each of the 4" woofer, which of course left big gaps between each tweeter.  Not exactly the line column they were trying to achieve.  I agree those first gen Iconyx were prone to feedback if mounted behind or on the same plane as the mics.  They had to be well in front of the mics.  (Some other line columns like SLS worked quite well on the back wall, behind the altar.)

Later versions had three tweeters per woofer and sounded much better.

John R.

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