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Author Topic: Road Rash  (Read 13830 times)

Mike Sokol

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Road Rash
« on: March 24, 2017, 11:43:31 AM »

Hey, please post your best stories from the road that aren't even audio related. I'll prime the pump...

I was driving across Texas maybe 10 years ago with one of my interns teaching seminars across the country. So it was drive 500 miles, setup for a seminar, do the seminar, load-out, drive another 500 miles, etc… So we were always looking for interesting places to eat lunch on the road and often stopped at small local places, not the usual Arbys/Wendys/Chilies/McDonalds kinda corporate food joints.

Now I’m from western Maryland, so the chance of meeting someone in the middle of Texas who knew where I was from was pretty remote. But after I nosed my van into a little BBQ joint off the highway and went inside to order the guy at the counter asks us “You from Maryland?” Well he knew that because of my front license plate. Then he says “You know where Frederick is?” And of course I say we do since it’s 20 minutes from my house. The he says “You know where the Barbara Fritchie candy store is on the hill off of Route 40 on the west side of Frederick?” And I say yes, I’ve been by there many times. So it’s obvious at this point that the guy serving BBQ in a little Texas food joint knows the place. But then he asks “Do you know about the alien space ship the military captured there?” I say, Nope I was not aware of that. He then goes into a lengthy description of how he saw it floating above the Barbara Fritchie candy store and the military was trying to get it down. But it was sort of camouflaged so you couldn’t see it real well (like in the Predator, maybe?) and they eventually got it untangled from the trees, but the military guy wouldn’t let him meet the alien life form that came out of it, so he was a little bummed. At this point I was wondering what was in the sauce, but we were hungry so we ate the brisket anyways and left. I watched for alien spacecraft the rest of the drive that day, but there were none to be found in that part of Texas. Would have broken up the monotony of the trip if we had encountered one…
« Last Edit: March 24, 2017, 01:50:44 PM by Mike Sokol »
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John Roberts {JR}

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2017, 12:40:37 PM »

How about real "road rash" like when I crashed my motorcycle back in the 70s?

JR
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Mike Sokol

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2017, 12:42:38 PM »

How about real "road rash" like when I crashed my motorcycle back in the 70s?

JR

Did you crash into a spaceship? Now, THAT would be a story...

Riley Casey

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2017, 01:43:52 PM »

Well then, it's pile on Texas time then.  My first coast to coast tour was in 1980. The band traveled in an RV and the roadie and I drove a little 12 ft Ryder.  The tour was a small clubs affair and we had an itinerary sent out by the booking agency and a bound book of maps of the country.  Long before Google maps or cell phones of course.  We arrived in Dallas just about sundown and proceeded to the first hotel on the list at which the booking agency would have reserved rooms.  As we pulled into the parking lot there were quite a few cars coming and going, it just seemed busy for a motel.  As I walked to the office across the front of the one story building one room had its curtains pulled back and a woman in a teddy and heels  was arranging the bed.  When I arrived at the office I identified myself as being with the such & such agency and I needed to take the rooms that had been reserved.  The guy behind the counter said in a movie grade Texas drawl " well we ain't got nuthin' rat now but you wait a few minutes and I'll have somethin' ".  I went back to the truck, got out the folder and looked on the list for the back up hotel.  We pulled out on the strip,  it was the local strip with bars and convertibles full of drunk Texans.  We pulled up next to one of these at a light and Bart, the roadie leaned out to ask if anyone knew where this hotel was and gave the the street name.  All four people in the convertible immediately pointed in four different directions, yelled yea and started into their idea of directions.  Luckily the light changed since they started fighting with each other about who was right.  We drove a bit further , pulled into the parking lot of a busy bar and asked another person if they could direct us.  The fellow was very cooperative, gave detailed directions and we thanked him.  It took about half a mile and two turns to figure out the the directions were complete BS.  Finally we pulled into a 7/11 or something similar and went to the counter to try one more time for directions.  The fellow behind the counter was very forth right.  "Me not know, your buy map" pointing at the rack of maps next to the counter.  Two hours in Texas and we finally found someone with a clue, a guy from Korea.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2017, 01:49:24 PM by Riley Casey »
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John Roberts {JR}

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2017, 01:59:43 PM »

Did you crash into a spaceship? Now, THAT would be a story...
Actually I crashed into a moving tree... (a dry rotted limb decided to fall when I was driving under it). Maybe a different spaceship was stuck up in that tree..

JR
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lindsay Dean

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2017, 02:32:27 PM »

hopefully you didn't eat the barbeque  after that story.........
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Mike Sokol

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2017, 02:33:54 PM »

hopefully you didn't eat the barbeque  after that story.........

Well, it did look good and we were really hungry, so...

lindsay Dean

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2017, 02:39:03 PM »

After consumption did you find your hands had pretty colors on them and feel the need to listen to
 Dark side of the moon ? if not you were cheated
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john lutz

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2017, 03:46:06 PM »

The band and crew were all packed in our van heading back home to Michigan from a gig in Schaumberg,  Illinois. It was mid February but pretty mild weather wise and just raining a bit. As we traveled north the temp started to drop.   The driver and any else of us looking out the front all saw at about the same time a wall of semi trailer tail lights blocking the lanes about a hundred yards ahead.  Freezing rain had produced glare ice.  Going a bit too fast, maybe 75,  driver momentarily panics and stomps the brakes.  We immediately went into a friction-less skid directly for the semi trailers.

A profoundly sad “oh no” thought formed in my mind as I reckoned this was it. The driver is pumping and wheeling trying to regain some control as we start to drift to the right – up an off ramp – avoiding the trailers. Now were doing about 50 and I'm thinking hospital but maybe survivable. 

Continuing to  skid and swerving side to side managing not to go down the steep banks of the ramp we loose more speed and  are now going sideways toward a 4 foot ditch on the right.  I've updated to thinking were only going to roll so probably just cuts and bruises.  More skidding and still loosing speed – the ditch is filling in – we finally hit the gravel shoulder and it pulls the tires off the rims – the van is really leaning but we stay upright and come to a stop.

A remarkably long slow-mo thirty seconds.  After which six very pale white dudes are seen standing on the side of the road thanking their lucky stars. Remember it like yesterday.
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g'bye, Dick Rees

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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2017, 05:36:45 PM »

hopefully you didn't eat the barbeque  after that story.........

Mmmmm...bar-bee-kewed alien!!!  It don't git much better'n that...
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Re: Road Rash
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2017, 05:36:45 PM »


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