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Author Topic: Good old (short) jokes...  (Read 4970 times)

Tom Roche

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #40 on: August 28, 2014, 01:48:13 pm »

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel half way down his pants.
The bartender sees him and yells out, "Hey, don't ya know there's a ship's wheel down your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Arrgghh, and she's driv'in me nuts!"
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Jonathan Johnson

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #41 on: August 28, 2014, 02:06:33 pm »

I set my password to 'incorrect'. Now, whenever I type the wrong thing, the computer tells me "the password is incorrect."
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Sammy Barr

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #42 on: August 28, 2014, 02:14:34 pm »

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer, and a mop.
A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says hey, we gotta drink named after you.  The grasshopper replies, you gotta drink named Bob?
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, Im looking for the man that shot my paw.
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dick rees

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #43 on: August 28, 2014, 02:18:00 pm »

I saw a machine at the airport that said, "Change:$1".  So I put in a dollar.

Nothing changed...
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Bob Leonard

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #44 on: August 28, 2014, 11:44:31 pm »

Boy and dad at the zoo.

Little boy see's elephants penis and says, "Dad, what's that? Mommy say's it nothing."

Dad turns to little boy and says, "That's because your mothers spoiled."
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Steve M Smith

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #45 on: August 29, 2014, 02:46:24 am »

Just seen my neighbour spraying Roundup all over his herb garden.

I said "What you up to Derek?"

He said "Oh just killing some thyme"


Steve.
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Bob Leonard

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #46 on: August 29, 2014, 06:49:01 am »

A woman called the police after her lover was unable to perform. She had him arrested for assault with a dead weapon.
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dick rees

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #47 on: August 29, 2014, 07:44:28 am »

Neither Ole nor Lena had much English when they first arrived, so when shopping they would mime what they wanted in the store.

Lena bought some ham at the butcher shop by pointing to her hip.  When she wanted sausages, she sent Ole...
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Jonathan Johnson

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #48 on: August 29, 2014, 11:43:20 am »

Boy and dad at the zoo.

Little boy see's elephants penis and says, "Dad, what's that? Mommy say's it nothing."

Dad turns to little boy and says, "That's because your mothers spoiled."

True story:

My 5-year-old niece and I were looking at the animals down at the farm. "Uncle Jon, why does the cow have a bag?" So I explained that that is where the milk is produced. Next question: "Uncle Jon, why does the bull have a bag?" "You'd better ask your father."
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Jonathan Johnson

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #49 on: August 29, 2014, 12:44:57 pm »

Midget walks out of a bar without paying. Bartender says, "hey, buddy, pay up!" Midget says, "Put it on my tab. I'm a little short today."



(Well, the topic of this thread is short jokes, isn't it?)
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