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Author Topic: Good old (short) jokes...  (Read 56651 times)

Ray Aberle

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #20 on: August 27, 2014, 12:10:43 PM »

I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust"

They do really suck, after all...
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Kelcema Audio
Regional - Serving Pacific Northwest (OR, WA, ID, BC)

Tim McCulloch

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #21 on: August 27, 2014, 12:17:43 PM »

There, fixed it for you.

How can you tell there's a drummer on your porch?  The knocking gets slower and slower.

How can you tell there's a bodhran player on your porch?  The knocking gets faster and faster.

How do you get rid of them?  Pay them for the pizza...

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What does a stripper do with her a****le before going to work?  She drops him off at band practice.

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What's the proper use of a viola?  Kindling for the bagpipe bonfire.

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Take a man, give him 2 sticks and call him a drummer.  If he fails, take away one stick and call him "Maestro".

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I'll be here all week folks!  Back with the 11pm show after I bus your tables and do the dishes!  Chef says "try our frog's legs, we can't sew them back on now!"

Badda bing, badda boom.
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"If you're passing on your way, from Palm Springs to L.A., Give a wave to good ol' Dave, Say hello to progress and goodbye to the Moonlight Motor Inn." - Steve Spurgin, Moonlight Motor Inn

Steve M Smith

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2014, 12:33:05 PM »

Here is one I heard from guitarist Scotty Moore:

Q:  What is the definition of perfect pitch?

A:  It's when you throw a banjo into a dumpster and it hits an accordion.


Steve.
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Chris Hindle

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #23 on: August 27, 2014, 01:22:49 PM »

2 Lampeys walked into a bar, A1 ducked under it.
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Ya, Whatever. Just throw a '57 on it, and get off my stage.

Hayden J. Nebus

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #24 on: August 27, 2014, 01:49:08 PM »

2 Lampeys walked into a bar, A1 ducked under it.


What's the difference between God and a lighting designer? God doesn't think he's a lighting designer.

Why do we see lightning then hear thunder? Even heaven lets the lighting crew load in first.

The difference between a terrorist and a German engineer? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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Hayden J. Nebus

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #25 on: August 27, 2014, 01:55:38 PM »

A production manager is walking along with his LX and A1 when they find a lamp which holds a genie, who decides to grant them each a wish.

The lighting guy wishes for a boat with a hot tub filled with women. Poof, off he goes.

The sound guy wishes to be on a beach in Tahiti. Poof, he vanishes.

Finally, the genie turns to the production manager. His wish?  "I want my crew back here in 5 minutes!"

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David Morison

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #26 on: August 27, 2014, 02:49:25 PM »

Why do we see lightning then hear thunder? 

Same reason some people appear perfectly bright... until you hear what they've got to say.
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Jeff Carter

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #27 on: August 27, 2014, 02:57:24 PM »

Here is one I heard from guitarist Scotty Moore:

Q:  What is the definition of perfect pitch?

A:  It's when you throw a banjo into a dumpster and it hits an accordion.

But misses the bagpipes...
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Mothers, don't let your babies grow up to be physics PhDs

Keith Broughton

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #28 on: August 27, 2014, 04:07:30 PM »

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None.
Key board player does it with his left hand.

Why do I call my small pet lizard Tiny?
Because he's my newt.
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I don't care enough to be apathetic

Hayden J. Nebus

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Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #29 on: August 27, 2014, 04:13:09 PM »

Did you hear about the banjo player who had his car broken into with his instrument in it? He found his window broken and a second banjo in the back seat.
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ProSoundWeb Community

Re: Good old (short) jokes...
« Reply #29 on: August 27, 2014, 04:13:09 PM »


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