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Author Topic: How do you......  (Read 3550 times)

Ivan Beaver

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Re: How do you......
« Reply #20 on: February 21, 2013, 06:41:06 am »

Can't let the drummers have all the fun, moving on to bassists.

Q: What do you throw into the water to your drowning bass player?
A: His amp.


BOTH of his SVT's
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A complex question is easily answered by a simple-easy to understand WRONG answer!

Ivan Beaver
Danley Sound Labs

PHYSICS- NOT FADS!

Ryan McLeod

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Re: How do you......
« Reply #21 on: February 21, 2013, 10:42:38 pm »

BOTH of his SVT's

....zing! That's entertainment right there.
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brian maddox

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Re: How do you......
« Reply #22 on: February 21, 2013, 11:37:08 pm »

BOTH of his SVT's

Actually, throwing in the SVTs is a pretty good way to get him into the water in the first place....
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brian maddox
11brian.maddox11@gmail.com

'...do not trifle with affairs of dragons...

       ....for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup...'

Dave Neale

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How do you......
« Reply #23 on: February 24, 2013, 08:28:02 pm »

A woman walks up to the guitar player after a gig.

She says. "You are amazing, the way you play is so sexy, I want you to take me backstage and strip me down and do anything you want to me!"

Guitar player replies, "did you catch the first set or second set?"
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Dave Neale

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How do you......
« Reply #24 on: February 24, 2013, 08:39:59 pm »

A band is heading to a gig in the van and gets into a three way accident with a Mercedes and a BMW. All parties involved are killed.

They all wake up at the pearly gates facing St. Peter.

St. Peter looks at the Mercedes driver and asks, "what good works have you done to gain entry to Heaven?"

"We'll, in life I was a doctor and once a year I would spend three weeks in Haiti tending to the poor and sick"

St. Peter replies, "very well, you may enter" and the gates swing open and allow the doctor to pass into heaven.

St. Peter looks at the BMW driver and asks, "what good works have you done to gain entry to Heaven?"

"In life I was a lawyer and every Saturday I would go down to legal aid and help the poor with legal issues."

St. Peter replies, "very well, you may enter" and the gates swing open and allow the doctor to pass into heaven.

NOW St. Peter looks at the van and, skeptically, asks, " what have YOU GUYS done to deserve entry into heaven!?"

"Well, we played a benefit once".

St. Peter replies, "I'm in a good mood today, I'm going to let you in"

The band is very relieved and starts
Pushing their gear towards the gates of heaven.

"HOLD ON", yells St. Peter, "you gotta push your stuff around back, through the kitchen, up the stairs..."

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Tim Halligan

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Re: How do you......
« Reply #25 on: February 25, 2013, 06:48:16 am »

Ladies...take heed...

 :P

Cheers,
Tim
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An analogue brain in a digital world.

Tim Halligan

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Re: How do you......
« Reply #26 on: February 25, 2013, 06:50:40 am »

Meanwhile...back to drummers...


Why are orchestral intermissions only 20 minutes long?

So thy don't have to retrain the drummers.

Cheers,
Tim
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An analogue brain in a digital world.

Tim Woodworth

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Re: How do you......
« Reply #27 on: February 26, 2013, 05:26:02 pm »

The tour manager goes down to the hotel desk and ask the receptionist if she could call his lead singers room because they did not answer the door and they are late . The receptionists tells him that there was a terrible accident last night and that the lead singer was killed! The tour manager says wow...and walks away.

A few minutes later the tour manager comes back up to the receptionist and asks if she can call the lead singers room because they are late. She said...sir I already told you...there was a terrible accident last night and your singer died. The tour manager says wow and walks away.

A few minutes later the tour manager comes back up to the receptionist and asks if she can call the lead singers room because they are late....and she yells at the tour manager.....SIR YOUR LEAD SINGER DIED LAST NIGHT!!

The tour manager said...yeah I know...I just like hearing it.
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Tim Woodworth
Intellasound Productions
Verona, WI

Nicolas Poisson

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Re: How do you......
« Reply #28 on: February 27, 2013, 04:55:07 am »

5 minutes before the beginning of the show, the stage manager notices a fly-case remaining at stage front. He asks the soundman, which answers it is none of his hardware. He then asks the lighting tech, which answers the same. All three guys come close to the fly-case and open it. At this moment, the genius of live show appears and says:
- Hello guys, each one of you may ask for one wish.

The soundman immediately says:
- I wana go on a heavenly island with plenty of women.
Whoop... the soundman disappears.

The light tech follows up:
- I want the same thing but, above all, on the farthest existing island of the sound guy.
Whoop... the light technician disappears.

The genius turns toward the stage manager:
- What’s your wish?
- I want you to bring back the other two assholes 'cause the show starts in less than 5 minutes.
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Tim Halligan

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Re: How do you......
« Reply #29 on: February 27, 2013, 10:52:42 am »

A young teenage girl comes home from school one day...

"Mum...I was talking with some of the girls at school today, and they told me you can get pregnant from anal sex. Is that true?"

"Of course it is darling" replied her mother. "Where do you think drummers come from?"

 :P

Cheers,
Tim

PS. I've heard this told about drummers, conductors, tenors, and because I work in television - cameramen and directors.
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An analogue brain in a digital world.
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