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[Kemper Watson]

Q: How do you get a drummer off of your front steps??
 
A: Pay for the pizza.

What's the difference in a drummer and a large pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of 4

[Bradford "BJ" James]

another old standard:

q. What do you call someone who hangs around musicians?

a. A drummer.

[Tim Halligan]

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.

 

Cheers,
Tim

[John Roberts {JR}]

That's cold. Some of my best customers are drummers.... 

JR

[Tim McCulloch]

That's cold. Some of my best customers are drummers.... 

JR

Take a man and give him 2 sticks.  Call him a drummer.

If he screws that up, take away one stick and call him Maestro.

[Jeff Harrell]

as of 43 years ago i am now a geetar holder. i aint no drummer ! WHERES MY PIZZA ?!

[Bob Leonard]

Q: What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
A: "Hey, how about we try one of my songs?"

An Indian chief and a cavalry captain climb to the top of a tall hill and look out upon the entire Indian tribe. The captain says worriedly, "I don't like the sound of those drums." The chief says, "I know. It's not our regular drummer."

Q: What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common?
A: They both suck without Cream.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better
Neil Peart could've done it.

Q: Why didn't the Little Drummer Boy get into heaven?
A: Because he woke up the baby, for Christ's sake!

Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?
A: His personality.

Q: What do you say to a drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise?"

"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer."

Q: Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
A: Me neither.

[Jeff Harrell]

Q: What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
A: "Hey, how about we try one of my songs?"

An Indian chief and a cavalry captain climb to the top of a tall hill and look out upon the entire Indian tribe. The captain says worriedly, "I don't like the sound of those drums." The chief says, "I know. It's not our regular drummer."

Q: What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common?
A: They both suck without Cream.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better
Neil Peart could've done it.

Q: Why didn't the Little Drummer Boy get into heaven?
A: Because he woke up the baby, for Christ's sake!

Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?
A: His personality.

Q: What do you say to a drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise?"

"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer."

Q: Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
A: Me neither.

an unauthorized biography of me !

[Nicolas Poisson]

Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a bass player ?
A: about 2 bars at the end of the song.


A guy enters a shop.
- Hi, I am searching for a 5000W bass amp.
The seller answers:
- mmmh, you are a drummer, aren't you ?
- how did you guess?
- Well, this is a travel agency here.

[Nils Erickson]

Can't let the drummers have all the fun, moving on to bassists.

Q: What do you throw into the water to your drowning bass player?
A: His amp.

Q:  How do you keep someone from stealing your electric guitar?
A:  Put it in a bass case.